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I am honestly struggling to get back into momentum with my studies. I am trying my best, but then again the point has been proven that my best is not enough :/ I still secretly wish hope dream that the season is not over. If I could have a time machine I would go back and make sure all those goals didn't roll under my legs. I want to feel the fatigue of training again. I want to sweat buckets in my (portable sauna) goalie suit again. But then, it's not my last year thankfully. One more solid year to go, provided I make it to J2 comfortably this year, not the 39 rank points kind.

Anyway my life has been okay. I wish I can make up my mind. I wish I can let all of you go. I wish sometimes I suffer from selective memory loss, so I'll choose to forget all my past relationships, but I'll also choose not to forget the valuable lessons I've learnt from them. I think that sounds reasonable, no? I thought about that while walking through furniture in Ikea hahaha. I should also just stop hurting people at the expense of relieving my pain. But then again, I like life as it is now. Unpredictable and full of surprises.

Oh yes, I am going to start being autistic at home from today onwards. Some shit happened. And I believe that I am definitely entitled the basic human right of having my own privacy, especially in the comfort of my very own home. I am utterly disappointed.

Okay, the hello kitty mouse I'm using is annoying the shit out of me. G'night kids