I am an emotional wreck right now. I thought about stuff. And I think, 2007 was a year of regrets, mistakes, wasted opportunities and lost friendships. Or if I would put it in another way, a sheer case of bad decisions and wrong timing. In one word, bittersweet.
O's was supposed to be the priority of 2007 but I never regretted going for OBS. I'm glad I didn't back out at the last minute. Met some nice people and pushed my endurance to the maximum. OBS changed me, perhaps not a massive change, but I think I know it myself. An opportunity of a lifetime which I'm glad I grabbed.
The trip to Germany was another eye opener. My first time setting foot in Europe and I was not disappointed. Got close to some people and also got to see the true colours of some others. Was given some responsibility and somehow abused it but I'm glad I learned from that experience. Leadership is no bed of roses/piece of cake/chicken feet...whatever floats your boat. Plus, celebrating my birthday with a bunch of acquaintances was a first too. No doubt, it'll go down as one of the best birthdays ever. What's more with it being my sweet sixteen.
Then came the mistake of falling in love with the wrong person, during the wrong time, and surviving through it all with nothing but bittersweet memories and many regrets. Things shouldn't have started in the first place but anyway, I would like to thank you for letting me discover the true meaning of love. You were the only one capable of bringing me up so high, so high that I could touch the sky. And also when you brought me down, I fell hard and it was never a smooth landing. Even though we'll probably hate each other for the rest of our lives now, I really did love you. And I'll probably never feel the same way for anyone else. I'm not sorry for the things I did or the stuff I said, cos I'm not perfect. Its been two months now and today's the 7th, I've not moved on but I know its hopeless trying to get you back. I will forget you and move on, maybe not now, but that day will come when I finally have the courage to delete all your messages and pictures I've saved in my phone.
I wouldn't say that friends were lost during that period, but maybe we just drifted apart, further and further, some even to the point of no return. Heartbreak just had to come at such a crucial time, in the midst of my all important O's. I would be lying if I said I wasn't affected but for now, I just hope for the best and know that I'm blessed.
I thank the friends who were there for me. And to the one friend whom I've lost for good, I've always wanted to thank you for being there to pick me up everytime I fell but I never had the chance to. Now, I just wanna say I'm sorry I didn't cherish our friendship. We have not spoken in almost a month now, and you most probably will not read this but you were just like a brother I never had. And to another, I miss our late night phone calls, you never knew this but you were my sunshine. You were capable of making me smile no matter how rotten my day was. Naturally feelings developed and I guess that killed our friendship. And now, we might never speak to each other again because I'm tired of trying so hard when you sound so uninterested. I miss you, and I'm sorry I never cherished you either. To all the others whom I've neglected in 2007, example being the DVs, my sincerest apologies but you people are significant in your own ways and I'll never forget you.
Well, guess that's all I have to say for now. I got to work tomorrow and my calf muscles are aching like mad. Something else is also aching but I can't stop the pain.