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I felt that I was totally redundant at work today. Did nothing but download songs. Finally got to met nat today too and thanks alot for dinner. I just feel the need to get all of this of my chest. Bottled up for way too long. Can this be considered an advanced summary of 2007? Hah. /emo

I really long for the companionship of friends and soon in a couple of days when everyone goes to jc I'll be all alone again. But who's going to understand what I'm going through? Everyone's probably thinking that's your problem, you didn't study hard enough.too lazy.can't be bothered.blahblahblah. And yes that I really regret. Not trying to blow my own horn here, but I believe that if I did not waste my time on far less important things I'd be able to do it. And sure, you can hurl insults at me saying I won't make it to a jc or poly and start your ridiculous comparisons. But remember, everything started because of you, and I believe in karma. So many sacrifices made for someone that didn't even considered me worthwhile. My time was worth nothing in your eyes, and yet you said I never made you my priority. It just hurts to think of what happened and trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle but yet still find no logical reason. I don't wanna be in love anymore if its going to hurt so bad. I still cry to sleep sometimes, but all that will have to stop. I don't think you're worth it anymore. And yes, if you think I am talking about you, so right you are. I know you do read.

Things have not been going well at home either. Seriously, spare me. I've had enough. My emotional threshold is reaching its limit. But this is reality. You can't run. You can't hide. Perhaps everything will be fine soon, I just need to talk to someone. But who?

To all the friends I've lost throughout the course of this year, I'm sorry we drifted apart. Blinded by love is what I would say. From today onwards I am going to make friends my priority. Its going to be tough hill to climb but I want all my friends back. Especially so to the DVs, I don't feel close to you all anymore and I know its my fault. I miss you all.

Sorry to be such a dampener, but I just felt that I had to get that out. If you don't believe in freedom of speech then fuck off. And really, its rare that I'm so direct and expressive. So yeah. Night everyone.